It’s my anniversary today. I had this whole post planned out: It was sweet but not saccharine, personal yet relatable. Something about how my heart still drops when I hear the door lock as Tom leaves for work in the morning. Something about how I still wake up a little disoriented about why there is someone else in my bed.
I was having a perfectly lovely day taking advantage of the free cookie at the Church Office Building cafeteria, when on my way out I see the subject of “Insight Gained Basking in the Light at the End of the Tunnel” having lunch, and time halted.
You know, it’s funny. I really thought I would have reacted better, but the adrenaline hit me and I almost puked. I walked out with legs shaking thinking, “Why today? Of all days, why tarnish this beautiful day?” I caught a glimpse of myself in the glass and remembered I was looking fierce, and that I may never look so good again, and I’m just gonna walk by one more time as confident as I know I am, and I was gonna give myself the satisfaction of letting that be (hopefully) the last way he saw me. Not a crumpled mess—a woman who is adored and proud of who she is. And so I did. His stare caught me like a hook, but I bumped it away with a swish of my hips.
As soon as I got outside, I sat down on a bench facing the temple and I called Tom. “Tom, I want to throw up and it’s not because of the nasty office fridge I spent an hour this morning cleaning out.” I explained, and he listened. I began to feel bad about dragging him into my hysteria. “I just wanted to call you and hear your voice tell me you love me.” “Anne, I don’t think you even know how much I love you.”
And that was it. I was looking at that stunning building where we got married two years ago, remembering how upon walking into our sealing room I was engulfed in the most intoxicating serenity I could ever imagine, an honestly unworldly feeling. I looked around the room and was overwhelmed seeing all these people I loved, the afternoon sun pouring through the window making my grandpa’s white hair glow. A dose of that heaven I experienced two years ago whooshed back with his words, and my eyes began glistening.
I decided there could be no better way to spend my anniversary. What started as a punch in the gut, led to being drenched in the sweet memory of what I can honestly say was the most beautiful day of my life. I won’t take this for granted. I know how lucky I am to wake up, roll over, and after remembering why I was sharing my bed, be so happy to see Tom by my side.